Voltaire: What happened to the two travelers with two daughters, two monkeys, and the wild ones named Mumps

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Candide and his servant were beyond the barriers, and no one yet knew in the camp the death of the German Jesuit. The vigilant Cacambo had taken care to fill his suitcase with bread, chocolate, ham, fruit, and some measurements … Read More

The Romanian-Romanian War

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He arrived earlier at the office. At the entrance to the building, the guard stepped on the stairs, wrapped in a thin stripe, his hat pulled over his eyes. He hit him lightly with the leg, and the guard jumped … Read More

Voltaire: How Candide killed his dear Cunegonde’s brother

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“I shall have my whole life in memory the horrible day when I saw my father and mother killed, and my sister raped. When the Bulgarians were retired, the adorable sister was not found, and my mother, my father, and … Read More

Voltaire: How Candide and Cacambo were received by the Jesuits of Paraguay

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Candide had brought from Cadiz a valet such as is found on the coasts of Spain and in the colonies. It was a quarter of a Spaniard, born of a half-breed in the Tucuman; he had been a choir boy, … Read More

Global warming

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“Brrr!” John was surprised by the sudden halt of the horses. He was about to fall in his nose. “What are you doing, man? What’s wrong?” Without a word, Ion jumped out of his wagon and ran into the vineyard. … Read More

Voltaire: How Candide was forced to separate from the beautiful Cunegonde and the old woman

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The beautiful Cunegonde, having heard the story of the old woman, gave her all the politeness that was due to a person of her rank and merit. She accepted the proposal; she invited all the passengers, one after the other, … Read More

Candide, by Voltaire: Continuation of the misfortunes of the old woman

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Astonished and delighted to hear the language of my country, and no less surprised at the words uttered by this man, I replied that there were greater misfortunes than that of which he complained; I informed him in a few … Read More

Voltaire: The history of the old woman

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“I have not always had the eyes scarred and bordered with scarlet; my nose has not always touched my chin, and I have not always been a servant. I am the daughter of Pope Urban X and the Princess of … Read More

Voltaire: In what distress arrive at Cadiz Candide, Cunegonde, and the old woman, and their embarkation

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“Who could have stolen my money and my diamonds?” cried Cunégonde, weeping; “How shall we live? What will we do it? Where to find inquisitors and Jews who give me more?” “Alas!” said the old woman, “I suspect a Reverend … Read More

Voltaire: What happened to Cunegonde, Candide, the Grand Inquisitor, and a Jew

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This Issachar was the most choleric Hebrew that had been seen in Israel since the captivity in Babylon. “What!” he said, “bitch of a Galilean, it is not enough the Inquisitor? Must this rascal also share you with me?” In … Read More

Voltaire, Candide: History of Cunegoride

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“I was in my bed and slept deeply when Heaven pleased to send the Bulgarians to our beautiful castle of Thunder-ten-tronckh; they killed my father and my brother, and cut off my mother in pieces. A great Bulgarian, six feet … Read More

Voltaire: How an old woman took care of Candide, and how he found what he loved

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Candide did not take courage at all, but he followed the old woman into a hovel: she gave him a pot of pomade to rub himself, left him to eat and drink; she showed him a rather clean little bed; … Read More

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